shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize