I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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