You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
