she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
