oh god the rape fog is back!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
