She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
