if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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