yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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