bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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