My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
