next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
