I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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