ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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