Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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