i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
