i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize