There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
