i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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