Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
