So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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