Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize