Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
