dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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