we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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