Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
