I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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