He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize