let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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