i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You're like the curious george of whores
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
