You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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