Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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