I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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