Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
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If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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