I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
