i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
