I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK