I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.