need another drink. this is the easiest way
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.