Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.