she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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