I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
