Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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