Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
