why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
