Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
