Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
