This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
