Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
