Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
