Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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