That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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