i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize