We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we're making bets on your personal life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I want her autograph on my taint
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
