You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
dude. I can hear the air.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
