It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
