you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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