I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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