Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
