Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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