He had one of those small greek statue penises
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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