How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
