dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
