i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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