To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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