dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Someone came in the potted fern
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
