I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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