Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize